Never Say Never!

Lesson number one.  Never say never. I said I would NEVER start a blog and here I am! The truth is God is moving so much in my life right now,  I just need somewhere to write. I have can write in a journal and keep it to myself but his words in my heart are like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9) So here I am! I am going to begin with all the "coincidences" in my life that have led me to this point. When my sister, Sarah was a senior in high school, she wanted to go on a mission trip. In 2001, our family landed in Kingston, Jamaica at a children's home, called The Nest. Immediately I fell in L-O-V-E. There were so many children with the sweetest faces and just wanted hugs and kisses which I was more than happy to give. One little guy in particular took a piece of my heart and has it to this day. His name is Kurtis. He was six years old when I met him and we were immediately drawn to one another. My heart was then opened to the love and need for "the least of these." I was blessed enough to return to The Nest  every year from 2001-2006.  

      Kurtis, Myself and Monique 2005

My love for Kurtis led me to become a teacher to work in inner-city. I worked in a  low income school for two years and it was a very emotional decision to become a stay at home mom. I loved my job so much. I had such a special relationship with these children and God used me to show his love to those boys and girls. The days were not always easy, but oh, so rewarding. There was so much violence and anger in some of the young children but God revealed to me that their hurt was so deep and allowed me to reach them. He gave me patience with some of them that only he could provide. I was always drawn to the "bad boys." I deeply loved them and they loved me. The hardest thing with Kurtis and teaching was the fact that my relationship with them was temporary.  Leaving the orphanage and each end of the school year, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my body. I had always thought I would adopt and people would casually say, "Oh, you couldn't love an adopted child the way you would love your own." July 29,2011 we received an 8lb12oz blessing named Erzra Blaine. We are crazy about Ezra, but every time I look at him I am reminded, "What if HE was the orphan in a third world country? What if HE was starving? What if HE was needing to be suffocated in hugs, kisses, and attention?" I have so much joy and so much emptiness at the same time. 

Ezra 8 months 

I have loved very minute of being with baby boy, but having him gave me such a deep appreciation for mothers who chose adoption rather than abortion. I could not even begin to imagine what it would have been like to leave the hospital with empty arms. So for the past few months adoption has been very heavy on my heart. It seems that everywhere I have turned, it has been in my face. I even found Kurtis on Facebook! I was so excited! We have been messaging each other pretty regularly and it brings such great joy that our friendship is continuing. He is now a very handsome, tall, sixteen-year-old young man. He did however tell me some news that hit me pretty hard. I never understood how people could be angry at God, but that night I was. "How can you let this happen God? Haven't their lives been difficult enough? Aren't you a father to the fatherless? Shouldn't you watch over them to make sure nothing else bad happens to them? WHY?!?!" Almost immediately after my ranting it was as if a soft whisper entered my ear, " I have called my followers to look after them, this is what happens when they do not obey me.(James 1:27)" This hit me like a ton of bricks. I often hear people say  " ______ is a good christian," meaning they go to church and aren't serial killers. Are we called to just go to church? James 2 says faith without works is dead. My number one goal is to be obedient to Christ. Where he says to go, I want to go, what he says to do, I want to do. I have continued to ask God to reveal to me if this is the road I am to travel.   


Many of us don't know what God wants us to do with our lives point blank. 

But I do know (off the top of my head):

Faith without deeds is dead

I am to care for orphans

I am to show mercy and compassion

I serve Jesus when I do for "the least of these"

Real faith is hard, not easy

I am to treat others as I would want to be treated

When much is given, much is required
Once you realize the right choice, it is a sin NOT to do it. 

I asked God to give me a direct sign that this was a direction our family needed to be headed. Later that day, I wanted to download some sermons on my phone and went to Calvary Chapel's website (watch with a box of tissues!) The sermon from last Sunday was about Mercy of Orphans. 

I listened to it and I learned this: 

All believers are adopted- Ezekiel 16 talks about how we were abandoned and God rescued us and adopted us into HIS family- thus it was his idea

Ephesians 1:4-6 He chose us and adopted us as his son

All adoptions go through a process:

1 There is a Cost- God had to lose his son to gain you and me

2 A name Change - out with the old, in with a brand new life of promise

3 Right of Inheritance- His Kingdom

As Christians we went through this process as well and God proved he loved us just as much as his Son. Wow! Wow! Wow!

 Matt and I feel that the Lord is leading us to invite a little mocha chip into our family! We made the decision to move forward on April 24, 2012 and we are so excited about the next step in our lives. We know the road will not be easy, but nothing so rewarding ever is. We ask you to pray for us through this process. Pray for our hearts to be in the right condition, pray for us to make the right decisions,  pray for doors to be opened or shut if this is not what we should be doing. Pray for us to continue being faithful and obedient and ultimately pray for his will to be done. AHHHH! This will be awesome!!!!